Some Fries with My Miracle Please

For over a year now, I have been working on a book about my experiences from working in a church (both positive and negative ones). I’ve gotten a lot of opinions on how to proceed with my book. Those opinions mainly coming from Satan, and he of course wants nothing more than to interrupt the process of my writing, by trying to negatively affect my thoughts.

Anyone who’s ever been antagonized by Satan knows exactly what I’m talking about. In reality, anyone with a pulse, knows what I’m referring to when it comes to Satan, and his unsolicited opinions. 

If you’ve read my book, Doubting Faithful, then you are fully aware that during a very dark time in my life, I gathered people’s opinions (regarding my circumstances) like a squirrel gathers nuts for the winter.  Thankfully, I came to my senses, and sought out the only opinion that mattered, God’s.

Unfortunately, nearly a decade later, I would find myself engulfed in yet another dark period in my life, and instead of staying true to the path that God had laid out for me, I ended up straying off course, allowing others to alter my steps. No need to tell you how that went, or why I am working on a new book.  

Just as God had shown me when writing, Doubting Faithful, the title whose cover came like a snapshot from Him, I knew that this new book was going to be written.  What I didn’t know was how often the story line itself would change.  Not from non-fiction to fiction, but instead, from wanting to make a point, to needing to teach a valuable lesson, not only to others, but to myself as well. Of course, when first starting the book, I wasn’t the one who felt they needed to learn anything.  Boy was I wrong!

I still had a lot to learn when it came to my relationship with God, and the value of spending time with Him, even when I sometimes felt that I’d outgrown the need to.  After all, I’m a strong Christian who has devoted her life to God, so what else could I possibly need to learn.  Apparently, a lot, and so writing, and rewriting, became a training of sorts for me to realize that I’d became complacent in my relationship with God, and it was time to come to terms with that. Just as I’d done when living my story, Doubting Faithful. 

After all, Christianity is based on trusting God, and knowing that He’s got you covered, and even during those dark and scary times, you still can have peace. 

(Philippians 4:7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus.

I knew that of God, and so I didn’t think my peace could ever be taken, more importantly, that I’d ever relinquish it again. So what comes next when you’ve already found that type of peace, are you supposed to let down your guard, assuming that Satan isn’t out there lurking, ready to destroy it? 

(1 Peter 5:8-9) Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

So how did I end up again, in a place of tremendous hurt and pain? I’d already survived what I thought was the worst time in my life, and I’d come out stronger than ever in my relationship with God.  My faith was second to none, and my trust in God was infallible, but just like most of us do in many areas of our lives, we stop putting in the effort, assuming that everything is okay, and I thought that my relationship with God was okay, but God wanted more than just okay from me.

Instead of treating Him with the respect that He deserved, giving God my undevoted time, I found that I was treating Him like a drive-thru window, expecting Him to be at my beck and call 24-7.  It was church on Sundays, prayers throughout the week, but there was no real heart to heart time with God, at least not the kind of heart-to-heart time that He expected and wanted from me. Sure, I could blame what had happened to me for the afar off relationship I suddenly found myself having with God. I mean seriously God, how many trials must I face? Apparently, more than I felt that I deserved.  It’s like assuming that your spouse or children know that you love them, without you ever showing them or telling them that you do. God is no different, He wants to know that we love Him, and what better way to show Him than to spend time with Him.

I knew the importance of staying close with God, and yet I had allowed myself to unlearn that because of my complacency.  I let down my guard, giving Satan the opportune moment to attack me in a place where I least likely expected him to, the church where I worked.

(Genesis 50:20) As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

You know that old saying, “first time shame on them, second time shame on me.” In getting closer to God again, I learned that my story needed to be shared, but I had to share it from a different perspective, His. God wanted me to stop blaming others for what had happened to me (although they were culpable because of their choices, as Judas was culpable in betraying Jesus), what happened to me happened because I had allowed it to.  It was me alone, who’d allowed others to distance me from God by choosing to listen to their voice over His.

Back in a place of undivided devotion to God, with no outside interference, I can feel His hand guiding me through this new journey, helping me to finish what Satan had meant for evil, and turn it into something good that will help others to learn from my experiences.

Before that book is available for you to read, please take some advice from me now, God is not a drive-thru window. You need to take the time to sit down with Him daily, and not sporadically throughout the week, or just on Sundays. He is worth your time, and I promise, you will not be disappointed.  In doing so, you will get a whole lot more than an order of drive-thru French fries, you’ll get the keys to His kingdom.